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Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. Soon I noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting 6.3, Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. Don't work properly. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony-Child Support". I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"5.0 to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

BEST OF LUCK,
TECH SUPPORT

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Comments (4)

dee:

you are too funny!!
Enjoy all your wit & facts!!

EDWARD SCHWARZMANN:

Simply great! n Loved it!

CAT:

Oh, That was a good one!!!


But not all wife 1.0 are high maintenance!!!
Some wife 1.0 like the program fishing 7.5.
A excellent program for that troubled user are gardening 9.5, and a rarely used program called hugging 10.0. And kissing 9.5 would greatly help all the other programs in use.

Sherry Foco:

This is so cute James! I just love all the jokes. Keep up the good work..a litle humor everyday helps to keep the blahs away!!
Sherry

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on July 23, 2007 11:40 AM.

The previous post in this blog was Tongue Twisters.

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