Just Free Stuff Daily

My favorite has to be #11! =)

Subject: Police Humor.....Who says the police don't have a sense of humor?

The following 15 police comments were taken off actual Dallas police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax... the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn'tknow, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K. I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey-doo !"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big WERE those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And...................THE BEST ONE !

#1. "Excuse me ma'am? Say you thought we didn't give tickets to pretty women?........ Well, you're right, we don't....... Now, sign here."