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the $2 bill

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public..
The younger generation doesn't know they exist.

STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.
In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.
I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me:
"Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go "

Server:
"That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me:
"No, it's to go.." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server:
"Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server:
"Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager:
"No. A what?"

Server:
"A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager:
"Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."

Server:
"Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me:
"Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server:
"I don't know."

Me:
"See here where it says legal tender?"

Server:
"Yeah."

Me:
"So, why won't you take it?"

Server:
"Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager:
"Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server:
"Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get c! hange "

Manager:
"I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server:
"What should I do?"

Manager:
"Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

Server:
"I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager:
"Just tell him."

Server:
"No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me:
"It's only seven o'clock ! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager:
"We don't take those, either."

Me:
"Why not?"
Manager:
"I think you know why."

Me:
"No really, tell me why."

Manager:
"Please leave before I call mall security."

Me:
"Excuse ! me?"

Manager:
"Please leave before I call mall security."

Me:
"What on earth for?"

Manager:
"Please, sir."

Me:
"Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager:
"Would you please just leave?"

Me:
"No."

Manager:
"Fine -- have it your way then."

Me:
"Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner.. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in.

Guard:
"Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering):
"This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."

Guard:
"No kidding! What?"

Manager:
"Get this A two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager:
"I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard:
"Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager:
"No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard:
"Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager:
"I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Guard:
"Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard:
"Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."

Me:
"Uh, no."

Guard:
"Lemme see 'em."

Me:!
"Why?"

Guard:
"Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager:
"It's fake."

Guard:
"It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager:
"But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard:
"Yeah?"

Man! ager:
"Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.


Just think...those two will be voting soon.........................................

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Comments (17)

Ann Izzo:

I have intoduced my kids to the $2 bill. I also worl in retail. You must be an idiot not to know about a $2 bill. I still have the first one I ever got and gave one to my youngest son. My mother would die and roll in her grave if I called a$2 bill a fake.

Michael Podzon:

My wife subscribes to your newsletter and showed me this thing about the $2.00 bill And I have to say it's the best darn laugh I have had in a long time keep up the good work .
REV M PODZON
Nebo NC

PAM:

NOW THATS A GOOD ONE,,,I WONDER IF THE POLICE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THEY ARE REAL..THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE THAN A FREE MEAL,AND A SODA..I LOVE THIS SITE...THANKS

Shari:

Hey James,
That story was funny. The server and manager must have been quite young not to know about a 2 dollar bill.
Your free site is the best.
Thanks for all you do to compile all these cool contests and freebies.

Samantha:

Hey James just wanted to let you know I'm a faithful subscriber and even though I haven't won anything yet I really enjoy these jokes and stuff Thanks for makin my day

ruth kovach:

love the story, I just might go get some $2 bills & go to where there is just teenagers & see what happens.

Sirina Kincaid:

I liked that little story. Where I work we get all kinds of money. But even a young girl I work with knew what a $2.00 bill was.

Mary Haught:

Even my 13 year old son knows what a $2.00 bill is; I guess it just depends on how kids are raised, and the things we think to share with them, both my sons collect different kinds of money; their grand parents have given it to them from th time they were born.

May:

I'm a relic...born in '35, have a couple of $2 bills , too...used to be popular at race tracks...to me these new $20 bills look phony. I enjoy your letter...seldom enter anything, just like your useless facts, starts my day off right!

Someone call the police on me then, because I have a couple of those "Fake" $2.00 bills. I think some the US needs to print more of the $2.00 bills then we can start teaching these younger kids exactly what they are. James thanks for this I really enjoyed it.

Lyks:

OMG!!!
My Dad / Grandpa Fred, must have the 'stash" of $2 bills no one knows about! Along with his b-day cards, Christmas cards he always adds the little extra! My last count for my oldest was 54 of those little "fake" bills! LOL

Faye I:

FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY!!! Can you believe people are so DUMD? I'm so glad I went to school and got an education so I wouldn't do something like that. My parents would have been so embarrassed. You have the best free site of all. Thank you.

Sarah D.:

This is with out a doubt the funniest thing I have read in a while. When I was a teenager working in fast food (back in the early nineties) and would get them from customers I would pull out two ones from my own pocket for the drawer and keep the $2 bill to take home to my dad to add to his collection. I did the same thing with dollar coins. You should see the looks they give you when you try to spend a Susan B Anthony dollar coin. Most of them have only ever seen the gold tone ones that came out in 2000. I am so glad my dad introduced me to coin a bill collecting as a kid; it will keep me from making a fool of myself like the 2 at the Taco Bell.

Sherry:

Your story is so funny! I love your site and everything about it! Keep up the good work James..Sherry

Dawn A.:

They walk among us...I have met people like these too in my retail sale jobs...and they were customers! Hey, thanks for all the fun and great freebies. I have been to other sites, but yours is by far the best. Keep up the good work. Dawn A.

Laurie J:

yep headed for abit of trouble...serious it is HARD to work with them they don`t even know how to count back change these days...wecome to the world of calculaters starting in third grade...

Gail:

That is so hilarious ($2 bill)! And James, all those "hate" letters...I think people think you are giving away the stuff and won't send them any!

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